Radical Gratitude: What Happens When You’re Grateful for Everything?

Radical Gratitude: Embracing the Life You Have

When you think about gratitude, what comes to mind? Most of us naturally gravitate toward the positive things in life: the things that energise us and make us feel good. A roof over our heads, a promotion at work, a quiet moment with a cup of tea. Gratitude in these contexts is easy. It feels natural to say "thank you" for the things that make life sweeter, more comfortable, or more joyful.

But what if gratitude could go deeper than that?

Recently, as Alex and I have settled into our new home in Malvern, we've found ourselves in a bit of a back-to-basics situation. No central heating, no hot water, no shower. We’ve been boiling kettles and filling basins, layering jumpers, and laughing our way through the cold evenings with the dog nestled close. It’s been humbling, and honestly, not the version of life we might have chosen. Yet, as the days have passed, we’ve both noticed something: we’ve never felt more aware of how little we actually need.

In the absence of "mod cons," the gratitude we feel isn't for convenience or luxury, it’s for the clarity this experience has brought. We feel lucky. Not in a surface-level, Instagram-perfect way, but in a raw and honest way. This life, stripped back to its essentials, has reminded us how resilient we are and how much we already have.

This kind of gratitude, what I like to think of as radical gratitude, asks us to embrace everything in life, not just the parts that feel good. It’s gratitude for the challenges, the losses, and the discomfort, because these experiences teach us something essential about who we are.

Loving Your Fate

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote, “Love your fate.” In Latin, Amor Fati. I have these words tattooed on my forearm as a reminder to embrace all of life, even the difficult parts. It’s easy to love life when it’s smooth sailing, but the true test comes when we’re handed something harder: grief, illness, failure.

The beauty of this mindset is that it doesn’t force us to pretend things aren’t hard. Instead, it encourages us to see the opportunity within the difficulty. When life strips away the comfort and security we’re used to, we’re given the chance to grow.

There’s even evidence to support this. Researchers studying post-traumatic growth have found that, for many people, profound challenges often lead to a deeper appreciation of life, stronger relationships, and a greater sense of personal strength. Difficult moments, while painful, often serve as a crucible for transformation.

Gratitude as Mindfulness

In my work with Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), we often explore the importance of awareness: seeing life as it is, not as we wish it to be. Gratitude, when practised mindfully, becomes a way to meet every moment with curiosity and openness, even when the moment is hard.

For example, when Alex and I sit down at the end of a long day of DIY and house chaos, we might laugh about how absurd it is to be living in what feels like a building site. But then we notice the deeper truth: we’re lucky to have this space. We’re lucky to have each other. And, strangely enough, we’re lucky for the cold water and the kettles because they remind us not to take warmth for granted.

Gratitude becomes a lens through which even the ordinary, or the difficult, can reveal itself as extraordinary.

The Science of Gratitude

Gratitude itself has been studied extensively. Neuroscientists have found that practising gratitude can reshape the brain. Regular gratitude practices strengthen connections in the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation, and perspective-taking.

Broad-spectrum gratitude, the ability to find gratitude not just in life’s blessings but also in its challenges, may go even further. By training ourselves to look for the silver lining in all situations, we build resilience, lower stress, and improve our overall mental well-being.

In Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), we practise this with something called the 10-Finger Appreciation Practice. It’s a simple but profound exercise: for each finger, we name something we’re grateful for, whether it’s the big things, like a loved one’s support, or the small, often overlooked details, like the warmth of sunlight on your face. This practice helps us incline the mind towards allowing good facts to become good thoughts, essentially training our brains to see and savour the good, even in tough times.

How to Practise Radical Gratitude

If you’re curious about exploring this broader spectrum of gratitude in your own life, here are some ideas:

• Reframe Challenges: When something difficult arises, ask yourself, “What could this teach me?” This isn’t about forcing positivity but about exploring the potential for growth or resilience.
• Gratitude for the Essentials: Take a moment to appreciate the things you usually overlook, like running water, the breath in your lungs, or the sound of birds outside your window.
• Gratitude Journaling with a Twist: Write down not only what went well today but also what challenged you and why you’re grateful for it.
• Mindful Reflection: Spend a few minutes simply noticing what’s present in your life, both the easy and the difficult, and practising gratitude for all of it.

A Life of Enough

What Alex and I have realised, as we huddle together with Zeno, our dog and philosopher-in-residence, is that gratitude isn’t about having more. It’s about noticing what’s already here. Even in the cold, even in the mess, there’s enough. And in that “enough,” there’s everything.

So, here’s my invitation to you: Can you find gratitude not just for the sunshine but for the storms? Not just for the wins but for the losses that taught you how to grow? Can you love your fate, just as it is, and see the silver lining even in the darkest clouds?

Radical gratitude doesn’t mean life will always feel easy, but it does mean life will always feel full. And maybe that’s the greatest gift of all.